I promise, if elected, that I will put a game in every home in America! No longer will boredom be a threat to our way of life! Every man, woman and child in this country will never again want for a miniature, a collectible card, or a polyhedral die.
It is my goal to organize our military forces to fight against terrorist threats using the sound strategies I have learned by playing Warhammer 40K, WarMachine and Axis & Allies. I will utilize the skill of trade negotiation that I harnessed from playing countless games of Settlers of Catan. I can show the American people that it is indeed possible to receive two ore for one wheat.
I will strive to improve transportaion and community building with the knowlege I have garnered from playing Ticket to Ride and Carcassonne.
Finally, I will work hard to make sure that everyone at the American gaming table is happy. I come to you, citizens of the United States, with 26 years of Dungeon Mastering experience. Believe me when I tell you that I know the meaning of the word "character" - perhaps better than most - for I have stood toe to toe with some of the most charismatic characters the world has ever known.
So, join with me America! Take out your 20-sider and throw it high into the air. I promise you, that when it finally comes to a stop you'll be staring at the magnificent glory of a critical hit!
-Derek Lloyd
(I approve of this message)
