Battle report time! so ive decided to battle reportize mine and brians game, from the perspective of one of his nobz
Thugg the nob fiddled with his power claw, and then, because he was bored, hit gurt over the head with it. He was not particularly happy, his waghboss, gut krumba had been leading his waghhh on a mission of vengeance, which was great and all, but it had meant that thugg had not been able to get into a proper fight for at least a week, unless you counted that incident with lurg earlier that morning, and the lack of violence was making thugg restless and cranky. But the boss was dead set on finding and killing a particular blue skin, who wore a metal suit and had a pet air plane, and it looked like he had finally tracked down his quarry, and when the grots came running into the camp screaming about blue fish people, and tall bird men, this fact was confirmed, and all the orks in the camp started to get excited, and thugg was no exception
tau list
Shas'el
plasma rifle, missile pods, target array, HW target lock, HW multi tracker, HW drone controller, 1x shield drone
shas'ui
TL missile pods, flamer
shas'ui
TL missile pods, flamer
6x fire warriors
devil fish
disruption pods
10x kroot
broad side
black sun filter
ork list
waghboss
bike, power klaw
3x waghbikers
9x boyz
shootas
+ nob
bosspole, power klaw
9x boyz
'eavy armor, sluggas/choppas
+nob
'eavy armor, boss pole. power klaw
truck
big shoota
spear head, kill points 500 points, tau go first
Tau Turn 1:
my broad side tries to snipe the truck through a hole in the tower it was hiding behind but misses. Then the fire warriors manage to knock a wound of the waghboss, but all of my suits whiff, either missing, or rolling 1's to wound.
Ork Turn 1:
The orks surge forward, the truck drives out from the tower, and the bikers surge forward to bring their dakka guns to bear against the kroot. The foot slogging mob also advances into the ruins for cover. The ork shooting phase see's the truck's big shoota and the bikes killoff 5 kroot, who waver, but hold on a 7 for their LD check.
Thugg had barely gotten his boys in order (through judicious use of brute force) when the fight started, the blue fish people's shootign had little effect on the orks, and thugg sneered at their pitiful "hi teknology", then grull's ard boyz took off in their fancy new truck, which irritated him, first the boss gave them the armor, and now they got a truck? well, he swore he'd be a grot before he let grull and his fancy pants panzies get in all the fighting, so he and his boyz surged forward towards the tower
Tau turn 2
The suits move up for better firing positions, and the kroot move up to intercept the incoming bikes. the drones on the fish also detached to slow down the ard boyz when they eventually hit my lines. my broad side wrecks the trukk, which careens 10 inches towards my army O.O oops. I then manage to wipe out all but the nob, and i manage to take out one of the war bikers. i then jump my suits back away from the bikes, and try to protect my fire warriors with the drones.
Ork Turn 2:
The lone ard boy nob, who passed his LD check moves towards the devil fish, and the bikes separate to go after the drones, while the boss tries to get behind the kroot to get to the suits, but cant make it and has to content himself with slaughtering them the goot slogging boyz also advance towards my lines. the foot slogging boyz kill 3 fire warriors with shootas, which puts them out of assault from the lone nob. In the assault phase, he manages to wreck my fish, and the waghboss cleverly uses his choppa, so he strikes before the kroot, killing 4 of them, and the last one fails to hurt the boss, and is run down as he flees. then the bikes crash into the drones, who actually manage to kill a biker, and only lose one, tie combat!?!?!
Thugg let loose a guttural laugh as Grull's fancy new truck took a hit, flew out of control, and blew up, scattering dazed orks all over the place, who were promptly eliminated by the fish people, until only Grull was left, then, to add insult to injury, Thugg ordered his boyz to pause long enough to let out a hail of bullets at the small brown armored runts, so that Grull wouldn't be able to krump them, that put a smile on his face, or at least it did until, in a fit of rage grull ran at the big flying tank thing and ripped it out of the sky, and started yelling insults and brags back at Thugg
Tau turn 3:
the fire warriors advanced to double tap the the lone ard boy nob, and the rest of my army moved to wipe the boss off the face of the planet. Shooting saw the nob die, but my shooting at the boss was dismal, the broadside missed again, and it takes all three suits to bring down the boss. In assault, the drone missed the biker, who puts 2 wounds on the drone, who manages to save them both.
Ork turn 3:
The last ork squad advanced menacingly on the 3 remaining fire warriors, the only things in range, and declare their waghh. no shooting to be seen, and the boyz easily slaughter the fire warriors. But in the drone biker combat, a miracle happens, the drone rills a 4 to hit, and a 6 to wound... and the biker rolls a 3 for his save! the drone wins combat!!!
Grull's bragging and taunting was cut short as the little panzies with the long guns ran up behind him and pumped him full of shots. that got thugg laughing again. Then he saw his boss blown out of his saddle, and blasted in half. At this point Thugg realized something, he was the biggest ork left, which made him the new boss! with this realization he bellowed a blood curdling waghhhh at the top of his lungs, and charged his mob towards the runts who had offed Grull for him, and lay into them with the rest of his boyz. while his boyz continued to hack the dead bodies into smaller and smaller pieces, Thugg looked around to see who was left and saw Gubbitz standing on his bike trying to swat a strange flying thingy out of the sky, when the drone suddenly fired at his bike, igniting the fuel tank and consuming Gubbitz in a fire ball. Thugg barked out a laugh, "what a git" he thought as he chuckled.
Tau turn 4:
The orks consolidated nearer the remains of my army who were now up against the board edge. I move my two flamer suits into prime flamer positions. and everyone else except the broadside closes in for the kill. Shooting, i fire everything into the orks, and despite 11 hits with flamers, i only kill 3, but my commander manages to wipe out 4, and after the dust settled, only the nob and 2 boyz remain , but they pass their moral check on a 3. So, in order to prevent him assaulting, i took the initiative, and charged into assault with both flamer suits, the commander, and the lone gun drone. I kill off the 2 boyz before they can strike, but the nob, who is out of range of the commander, insta gibbs a missile/flamer suit, and so draws combat.
Ork Turn 4:
With nothing left on his side to do but assault, we get down to it, and it ends with my 2 remaining suits clumsily bludgeoning his nob to death before it can strike again.
Suddenly Thugg heard the sound of jets, and turned to see that his boyz had been surrounded by the big mekanikal beings, and his eyes fell on one of them in particular, with a funny horn that seemed to be ordering the others around, this must have been the commander his former boss had been trying to kill, and he made it his goal to be the one that mounted the funny looking head onto his boss pole. But before he could act on this notion, the funny looking suit things lit up his boyz, with bright bursts from energy weapons, missiles, and gouts of flame. By the end of the fusillade, only he and two other boyz remained, but neither of them even thought of turning tail and runnin away like a scaredy squig, and then the meks jumped into combat with him and his remaining boyz, his two boyz were beaten down before they could do much more than bellow at the strange looking contraptions, but the one attacking him just bounced off his thick head, and he pounced upon it, grabbing it's head between his klaw, and with a delightful popping crunching noise, he killed his squirming opponent. He jumped back up, and whirled to face the commander with fire in his deep set small eyes, barely noticing the 2 airplane things that kept bumping ineffectively into his head. He tensed readying himself to strike, but before he could, the other mekanikal creature tackled him from the side, and threw him off balance with the force of the jet on its back, and in his moment of distraction, the command suit struck, and while his attacks were clumsy and uncoordinated, the mek suit gave him incredible strength, and eventually, Thugg stopped moving after repeated blows to his skull
8 hours after the tau left the battle field, the rest of the ork waghhhhh arrived, and found only one survivor, a battered nob lying half dead in the dirt. Upon recovering (no thanks to the painboys' "careful" ministrations) Thugg, stormed through the makeshift camp to the bosses old kustom trike, climbed aloft, and declared with a shout, "IM DA NEW BOSS ROUND HERE, AN IF YOU RUDDY GITS DONT LIKE IT, ILL TURN YA INTO SQUIG BATE YA BUNCH OF YELLA BELLIED GROTS" and so the legend of the Thugg the 'ead cruncha began, and to this day, he still hunts that illusive mekanikal blue skin panzy, and he leaves a special spot on his bosspole for the funny horned head
so good, bad, really bad?
